Heaven Help Me, I’m Going to be on TV

Sunday morning a TV crew from Channel 5 in Green Bay is coming to interview me for Wisconsin Works, a segment of their morning show. I’m hyperventilating just writing that so it’s sure to be an interesting segment: “Stay tuned as Amy Sue stares blankly at the camera…”

Monday morning I got a phone call asking for the owner of Zany Zebra. At first I thought it was a telemarketer but was shocked to hear it was Channel 5 TV in Green Bay. They want to feature Zany Zebra in one the upcoming Wisconsin Works segments and when would be a good time for the crew to come by for an interview?

I looked around the house and calculated how long it would take to get it ready for TV – a month should do it. Unfortunately they needed sometime this week, including Sunday. It also had to be before 3:00 pm, but they could come as early in the morning as I needed to avoid daycare hours. I considered what time I’d have to wake up to be dressed, have hair and make up done, the house cleaned, and everything ready for a 6am interview. Then I chose Sunday. The kiddos were warned that Saturday was Clean the House Day because “Mom’s going to be on TV”. They thought it was cool but didn’t get really hyper, they just asked “Why” and went on with their lives – probably afraid I’m going to embarrass them.

I’ve been trying to play it cool and be calm but on the inside I’m a quivering mass of jelly. What if I look dumb? What if I sound dumb? What if the cameras add 10 pounds to my leftover baby weight and I look huge or have something in my teeth or the lights wash me out so I look dead? What if they ask me a really easy diapering question and I don’t know the answer? What if I babble incoherently or worse – blank out and say nothing? What if I get a humongous zit overnight? What am I going to wear?!

Teacher says I’ll look gorgeous and be wonderful and sound intelligent. That’s why I love him – he always believes in me. And he keeps me from totally flipping out.

I have to apologize to these customers… Lisa, Miranda, Colleen, Julie, Sarah, Kimberly, Erika. I’m sorry but I can’t ship your orders today like I’d planned. It occurred to me as I was obsessing about this interview Me obsess? I resemble that remark if I shipped your orders today I’d have no examples for the interview Sunday and how lame would that be? But I PROMISE to pack them up Sunday afternoon and get them on their way Monday. I’ll post a link when I have one so you can see your fluff on TV.

Time to start cleaning…