The Gross-Out Story Hour – Puke

Welcome to the Gross-Out Story Hour. This hour our topic is Puke. Vomit. Throw-Up. Tossed Cookies. Barf. Upchuck. Spew. You get the idea.

I find it interesting that when you tell someone a puke story they almost always have one to tell you back. I’d guess everyone has had some experience with puke; either their own or someone else’s.

I had an up-close and personal experience with puke just yesterday and was telling a friend about it. She kindly shared her story with me and I’ll share it with you. The more the merrier, right? Anyway, my friend was trying to get her young daughter to giggle and the girl ended up puking into my friend’s open mouth. I’m so grossed out just writing that! Next thing you know, my friend was puking too. I sure can’t blame her.

Teacher has been puked on by each of our children in church. One Sunday College Boy said “I don’t feel good.” I was in the midst of saying “If you think you’re going to throw up, go to the bathroom” when he tossed his cookies all over the floor, and Teacher’s legs. Two-year-old Princess lost her breakfast on Easter morning, all down the front of Teacher in his new shirt and tie. Ah yes, the good old days.

Up to know I’ve managed to avoid being puked on until yesterday’s incident ruined my lucky streak. We’d just finished lunch and the kids were bringing their dishes to the counter on their way through the kitchen to the bathroom. One of my little girls hadn’t eaten much but I didn’t think anything of it since she can be a picky eater. Plus she’d had seconds at breakfast. During lunch I’d asked her if she was going to eat and she told me “My tummy says I’m not hungry”. No big deal; if she’s not hungry she’s just not hungry. Or so I thought…

I was rinsing dishes while the children went in and out of the bathroom behind me, washing their hands and going potty. I turned to grab more dishes and saw her standing perfectly still next to the counter. For a moment I stared at her, wondering why she was just standing there. I opened my mouth to ask, but then I saw the puke in her hands and down the front of her sweater. “Oh, honey…” I said, then as I started walking toward her she opened her mouth and projectile vomited right at me. Luckily most of it landed on the floor between us, but my shoes and jeans caught the rest. After that deluge I assumed she was done so I grabbed the paper towels to start cleaning up. But she wasn’t done yet; she spewed again and again as I dashed for a bowl. The poor girl didn’t stop until I was sure she’d brought up everything she’d ever eaten in her entire life. Finally she stopped and stood looking at me, brown eyes huge in her pale face. “I don’t feel good” she said, the poor honey.

I managed to get her cleaned up, call her parents, change diapers and tuck the other children into bed. I’ll spare you the details of cleaning up; suffice it to say that it took half a roll of paper towels, several plastic grocery bags, soapy water and a rag, disinfecting spray, and over half an hour before the floor and carpet showed no signs of puke.

Once all was calm again I returned to my lunch. I’d only had time to eat half of it before the puke started flowing, and I was still hungry. Unfortunately for my ten pounds of leftover baby weight, cleaning up a puke pond didn’t curb my appetite one bit. I kinda wish it had.

I told you mine, now you tell my yours and we can all be grossed out together – the more the merrier, right?

Amy Sue

31 Comments

  1. Boy, did this bring back memories. When my two boys were little – they are both in their forties – we took them out for breakfast one weekend. It must have been a special occasion as the restaurant was crowded. We were seated and ordered eggs and who knows what else. We were served and proceeded to eat. Most restaurants do not serve eggs scrambled dry even when requested so they were “moist”. We ate and as I looked over at the kids, I noticed a funny look on their faces. First one let loose. Puke everywhere, on the table, on the floor and on the kid. I got up to take #1 to the bathroom when #2 let loose with his breakfast all over everything again. We each grabbed a kid and headed for the bathrooms while the poor waiter gulped and the people around us did who knows what. We stripped the kids, gathered our belongings and headed home. We were not charged for breakfast. By later in the day both boys were busy playing and none the worse. It was quite a while before we went back to THAT restaurant again. It has been years since I thought of this. Love your blog even though my kids are no longer “little tykes.”

  2. Oh Pat, in a restaurant?! Yikes! So far we’ve avoided that… knock on wood!

    ~Amy Sue

  3. oh, you are soooo right. One gross story prompts another one. (Thanks for making me laugh.)

    here’s one a friend told me:

    She was on a bus on a long trip. There was a bald guy asleep across the aisle from her, and a woman leaning on the top edge of his seat, resting her chin on her folded arms.

    My friend heard this burbly-gurgling sound and then a retch. When she looked over, she saw the bald guy sleepily touching his head–the woman had thrown up all over his head.

    *giggling*
    omg, what a way to wake up.

  4. Oh yuck, that is too gross!

    Thank you for sharing… I think…

    ~Amy Sue

  5. Ok so once when i was baby sitting my friends little girl she said she didnt feel well and then it happened no sooner did i ask her if it was her tummy that was hurting that WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSh she opened her mouth to answer and out came a pinckish purple colored pukeit was so gross and to make it worse i was pregnant with my frst baby who is now 3 1/2 years old so i get her cleaned up then i put her in the play pin go to the bathroom and puke my guts out that might have been the worst day of my life

  6. so my daughter is 22 and is 4 months pregnant and still has morning sickenss and geyts motion sick really badly, i was driving aruond town with her ( we were going to macys for baby clothes and more materninty clothes) and she is like “mom” “what” “I think i mght be sick” “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUm…… ok, there is a plastic bag in the side pocat” she goes reaching for the bag and then i here sdbvhdsjdnsjhdsgdfakdlksdjsjfehdhfgdhs and then “sorry mom” “it is ok you could not help it” and then again i here a dgfgghjkjhdgdgfhghfgjhjfhfgfdgfhgghghjfgdfggfg fghsfgfhgfghgjhjghjkghghfdhfhfghjgdhf “sorry mom” “really baby it is ok, just get out tha plastic bag and if you still feel sick throw up in that” “ok” this time she gets the plastic bag and then throws up 8 more times, istead of going shopping i tahe her home then she lays on the coutch bucket at the ready and throws up 9 more times after that. poor thing

  7. i am 2 months pregnant and constantky fill like i might puke and i do like last week i was in walmart and started to feel sick so i head to the bathroom and it is being cleaned and then i cough and cough and cough then ghjhgfghjkjhgfghjgfgfdfhjjuhhghgghhjjhggfgftgf all over the f***** floor and the woman next to me gaged and puked witch made me puuuuuuuuuuke (i have an extremly weeak weeak stomach like if i even hear/see/smell somone puke i lose it) holly frecken crap it was terrible

  8. When i was 14, I felt ill in class. I went up to the teacher and told him, but, even though he was really nice (and cute), he said i could wait until lunch to go and see the nurse (it was the lesson before lunch)

    so, i go and sit down again, and keep my mouth firmly closed for the rest of the lesson, attempting to concentrate on my work.

    At the end of the lesson, he used to get us to line up at the door, waiting to go, and he’d kind of chat or whatever with us. So, somehow i end up at the front, still not opening my mouth.

    So, the teacher is about to let us go, when he looks down at me, and, for some reason, asks – “Lily, are you feeling alright?”

    I open my mouth to answer, and suddenly get this pain in my stomach.

    Next thing i know, i vomit all over my teacher’s shoes and trousers.

    It’s been four years, and i’m still embarrassed :S

    he was really nice, though. he was actually like – “Oh, god, I’m sorry, I should have let you go to the nurse.”

    Funnily enough, after that, he always let people go to the nurse if they even had a headache πŸ˜‰

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  10. Since I am a grandmother 9 times over, I have certainly seen a lot of upchucking in my day. Have 4 kids — let’s see: One came in from her bed one night and told us her stomach was funny — yep — too much fudge and it was all over her bedroom floor. Another son said once his stomach was “fuzzy” and I reached for an empty vase just in time to catch the Big Red he had drunk earlier. We’ve had vomit on the floor, rug, car, porch — you name it, we’ve seen it. Now I’m secretly enjoying the fact that they all have their own kids and it’s payback time!

  11. Gee, Amy… I don’t drop in to say hi often enough, and was feeling kinda bad about that.

    Now that I see what I’ve been missing, though, it doesn’t bother me as much.

    My grandfather had the weakest stomach in the western hemisphere, and the first time he even saw me, I made a lasting impression.

    I was just 4 or 5 months old, and we’d just driven up to their home in California, after my dad drove all the way from Virginia. My grandpa picked me up and held me up at arms length, overjoyed to finally see his first grandson…

    who promptly upchucked everything but toenails right into his open mouth.

    They tell me he threw up non-stop for five minutes, and on three separate occasions after that when someone would mention it.

    I was in my twenties the last time I brought it up… well, actually, it was his lunch that was brought up.

    Now, having left my contribution, I must run… but I’ll be sure to pop in next time you have some enlightening (pun intended) things to discuss. πŸ˜‰

    • Doc,

      Now that’s a story to go down in history. Your poor grandfather!

      Please do stop by more often – I promise it’s not always about puke or poop. πŸ˜‰

      Hugs,
      ~Amy Sue

  12. when i was a senior in high school,i was sitting in class,feeling sicker and sicker.ii went to the girls room and tried not to be sick,i was gagging and burping a little then suddenly in a big whoosh,my entire lunch spattered into the toilet.we had chicken pot pies and i threw up chunks of chicken,carrot chunks and whole peas for 20 minutes,as i was still dry-heaving and puking little bits of water and mucus,my identical twin sister and her friends came in the bathroom ,heard the noise and went eww,whos throwing up,shaking annd in tears,i came out of the stall and had to run back in but my stomach was empty.worst flu ive ever had-laid in bed with a pail next to it and for 3 days,everything i put in my mouth went in that pail.my sister said people said they heard she threw up at school.

    • Lori,

      How awful – not only to be sick but to be sick at school! I got sick at school when I was a Freshman. It was early in the year so I didn’t know I had to get a Building Pass to leave school; I just called my dad, told him I was sick, and asked if it was OK to go home. He said it was, so I went. When I was well enough to go back I found out that I was supposed to get a Pass before leaving school. Oops!

      Thanks for sharing your story,
      ~Amy Sue

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  14. I am in highschool and one day i started feeling sick in the middle of my english class right before lunch. I just sat there for a few minutes and then I threw up al over the floor just as the bell rang and my teacher came over and somehow managed to get me to the nurses office. I could baerly even walk I was so nautious. Once I got to the nurse I went to the bathroom they have in the office and threw up like 7 mor times it was horrible!

    • Amanda,

      How awful! Being sick in public is one of my worst nightmares – along with the whole being naked in public thing. But they do say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, so I guess you’re a stronger person now, right?

      Thanks for sharing,
      ~Amy Sue

  15. I personally have tried to hold the puke and instead I puked through my nose. Then I tried to sniff it back in but it only went back about half way so instead I got this huge snot infested puke hanging from nose and I cant suck it up no matter how hard I try. Eventually wiped on my hand and then my pants. Talk about a nose burn it made my eyes water. This happened on a first date and the date ended very early and he never called back. Go figure.

  16. Yes ladies – puke, it does happen and if it wasn’t for us – the husband population would be covered in puke with no idea what to do about it. For instance…my daughter comes in the bedroom with out warning – whamo pukes on the floor…okay honey let’s get to the bathroom…yep pukes again -meanwhile the husband is gaging and hacking… back to bed…I was a bit restless waiting to hear the puking start again. Good morning. She still looks a bit peekid and pale – no school for you. Toast, banana and a bit of water. All is good – we snuggle up on the cough watching cartoons – “ma ma, can I have some more water?”. “Yes honey.”. I watch as she swills down ALOT of water and mention to her to be careful not to drink too much because your belly is still wiggly. “But I am thirsty.”. She hands me the glass, snuggles a little closer and with a horrified look on her face and hand over her mouth here comes the puke squirting out between her fingers , all over her, the blanket, the couch and my face…yummy! As I said before had that been my husband I would have had to take care of both of them. He is not good with poop either. The mear thought of it starts the eye watering,stomach wrenching gag…Ha Ha! Hope you all enjoy because I sure enjoyed yours!!!

  17. When I was on vacation about two years ago we went on a cruise and I was in the resturaunt on the cruise and I was sitting in the kids lounge with my cousins and I had macaroni and cheese less than five minutes later my stomach started hurting I tried to relax and stay calm but it didnt help I told my mom that I was going to throw up and she rushed me to the bathroom but I didn’t make it I threw up right into my hands and on the floor so after that I acted like nothing had happend but when I got back to the table I was really thirsty but no one told me it was bad to drink water right after throwing up so after that it was a repeat exept I was right in front of the bathroom door and it ten times as much vomit talk about fun vacation

  18. One time, I was in high school in my honors English class when the guy next to me threw up right in my lap. I have a really weak stomach and when I saw the puke, I completely lost it. I threw up like at least 8 times! It was horrible! It came out of my nose! It was disgusting! When I went to the nurse, I puked like 10 times in the hall and I puked on the nurses shoes!

  19. So when it was picture day I knew I wasn’t going to be in school long cuz I knew I was sick still mom forced me to go Soooooo I get to class by the way I was in 5th grade so I started feeling weird I ask to go to nurse the teacher said after audience I said when I get sick it’s ur class not mine right when audience started right when it started I projected my last night’s dinner everyone screamed the teacher looks like she was going to throw up. Before she took me to. The nurse I said you adults are shared headed u should of listened I got in trouble but not as much and puked even more while yelling at my mom I told u u never listen to me!!!! It was disgusting:(

  20. At one point I was at school i and we were exiting the cafeteria and I wasn’t feeling great. We had been dared by a bunch of guys to eat an open pack of gummy candy that was found in the hall. I didn’t want to look like a pussy, so of course I took the challenge. I decided to go to the nurse’s office. I was about halfway there when I got THAT feeling. You know when your stomach flips and all the vomit comes rushing up your throat. I the basic puked my guts out in front of everyone.

  21. I never threw up in school, but I remember I had a friend in elementary school. We were standing in line to go the bathroom. She whispered in my ear that she was going to puke. I immediately moved to the back of the line, but I didn’t know she came to. Next thing I know she is puking and it splashes all over my shoes. I just stared at her. Lol.

  22. First of all I have several medical conditions which makes me puking inevitable and unfortunately frequent. well I had just moved to a new town and had just started at a new school in tenth grade it was the first class I had attended which happened to be gym, I handed the teacher my starters packet to get signed which also include a note explaining my medical condition and stated that if I felt sick or needed the bathroom I was to be allowed to do so without being questioned or getting in trouble. The gym teacher read over the note rolled his eyes and told me to start running with the rest of the class, well five minutes into the run I started to get hot and dizzy (Turns out I also wasn’t acclimated to the new higher altitude) I new I was probably going to get sick so I started heading towards the locker room/bathrooms. The teacher sees me and stands in front of the door so I tell him I am not feeling well and then he tells me to suck it up and keep running, well right as he says running I throw up all over him and pass out. Next thing I know The teacher isn’t there and I am surrounded by medics. I was removed from that class and none of the teachers ever questioned my leaving the room again.

  23. I have 2, with the exception of in a borders while pregnant, and that’s literally the whole story, those are the only 2 times I’ve thrown up (well, only 2 illnesses…I threw up more than once with both) in public somewhere other than a doctors office or hospital.

    First was third grade. I had missed the day before because I felt nauseous and tired, I never got sick though, so my mom decided I was faking and when I woke up feeling worse the next morning she sent me. About 2 hours into class I realized I needed to vomit, so I went and *stood in line* to ask the teacher if I could go to the bathroom, I didn’t do a horrible job, I waited all the way till I got tot he teacher, but when I opened my mouth to talk something other than words came out, all over her and the teachers edition to the math text book. I also threw up in the bathroom, but made it to the toiler, when on the way to the office and a once in a bucket in the sick room while waiting for my grandpa to pick me up.

    Second time was 8th grade. I actually felt fine, only think unusual was I thought I was starving (now I think it was the early stages of nausea) when I got to school, I *never* eat breakfast, so this was rare. I got a cinnamon roll and ate it. I got through first hour ok, but towards the end I started getting very clammy and a bit queezy. Half way through second hour that queezy feeling had turned to nausea I’d learned from the last time not to ask first, I did not learn to grab the class room trashcan on the way out the door though, which would of been a good plan, cause I only made it about 1 past the class room doorway when the first heave happened, I swallowed it, but that only lasted 2 more steps, the second heave was too much to swallow down and I threw up all over the floor just 3 steps from my class room. When I was done I went back to the classroom, got my stuff from my desk, asked the teacher for a note to go home for the office and told her to call a janitor. I got super nauseous again about halfway to the office, I ran towards the bathroom but ended up “choosing” the hall trash can, it was closer, 90% or so of that vomit made it into the trash can, the rest was dripping down the side. After that I made it to the bathroom outside the office, and mostly all the way to the stall…not much in the toilet though. By the time I got to the secretary she had already called my grandpa and I laid on a cot waiting, with a trash can within easy reach. I only threw up a couple more times…till the drive home, he never got that smell out of his car, I told him to pull over, he just wasn’t fast enough. I’ve never had such an urgent virus before or since, when I had like 5, or less, seconds form when I felt like I *might* throw up to throwing up all over the floor. I couldn’t make it to the bathroom most of the time at home the next two days either, my mom and brother had the same issue when they caught it from me.

    I throw up all the time, just never in public, except hospitals (I have cyclic vomiting syndrome, I’ve been in the hospital 12 times in one month for rehydration before) and doctor’s offices (either due to the aforementioned cyclic vomiting syndrome or when I had hyperemesis when pregnant.

  24. Omg! One time I was on a date with my boy friend and we were eating pizza. Week I guess we ate a tad too fast because next thing I know he threw up ALL over the table and me.it was so gross.
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  25. I was in 3rd grade. A kid had ate a lot at lunch. Suddenly, I hear this blehhhhjhhhhhhh and he’s puked all over green carptwt. I’m trying not to puke so I close my eyes. Then, he pukes AGAIN in the trash. So gross! Yuck to the max! I think it was mac n cheese……. all orange! Vowed to never eat the school Mac n cheese again

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